Tuesday, November 1, 2022

Unpacking the Day of the Dead With Our Kids


"I don't think we can participate in the Day of the Dead at school," my nine-year-old son tells me on the car ride home.

"Why is that?" I ask.

"I think they want us to celebrate death," he says.

"How so?" I ask.

"They want us to bring a picture of loved ones who died and put it on an altar."  

A couple weeks ago, we had a conversation about Halloween and the type of decorations we wouldn't use at our home because we didn't want to celebrate deathsomething that came as a result of disobedience to God and brings sorrow.

"I like how you're thinking about this," I say, "But I don't think there's anything wrong with remembering loved ones who have died. We would never pray to them or think our prayers could change anything for them now. We only pray to God."

From the silence in the car, I know my deep-thinking child is processing my words.

"How about we keep talking about this as your school shares its plans for this day?"

I watch my son nod his head in my rearview mirror. 

The Day of the Dead is a tricky holiday to navigate as a Christian parent. While we want our children to be exposed to different cultures, this is the holiday I hear the most concern about. And I get it because it makes me uncomfortable too. 

NAVIGATING THE WORLDVIEW MAZE

We don't want our kids to think the spirits of deceased loved ones will visit on this day or that somehow spirits can be summoned to connect with the dead. We want our families to avoid any participation in summoning the dead (Deut. 18:10–12). But we can take a step back to see things from a different point of view. We can be cultural learners. 

I'm not advocating our kids participate in any religious aspects of the holiday (such as placing photos on an altar) or explain the deeper spiritual implications of this day but instead to view it as a chance to understand a different worldview. And to see how the gospel meets the needs of another culture. 

The hope Christians have because Jesus defeated death is life-changing. We know evil spirits exist but that Jesus has authority over them (Mark 5:1–13). We don't condone the mistaken spiritual implications that can lend itself toward celebrating death. But as often happens, a once religious holiday can become more secularized. The Day of the Dead is practiced differently depending upon its location. We should keep this in mind as our kids are exposed to this celebration. 

The skulls, altar, and talk of the dead may stir up concern in our hearts. Skulls decorated with flowers and hearts may strike our kids as odd or sad. It may lead to conversations about deathwhich can help us talk to our children about the hope we have in Jesus who defeated death. But it is also a chance to celebrate the life of loved ones who have passed away. Just as Americans might visit and leave flowers at the grave of a deceased loved one.

We can shepherd our kids through learning about a holiday we don't celebrate without fear. The apostle Paul observed the beliefs of otherseven those that ran contrary to the Bibleas a springboard to talk about the gospel. He didn't condone their false beliefs but used it as a bridge toward Truth (Acts 17:22–34). We can help our kids navigate the maze of worldviews from a biblical lens so as they grow, they have the right tools to filter the world through a biblical framework. 

I think there's a way to learn about it without crossing any lines (and doesn't mean we have to celebrate death or endorse the holiday) but it involves good conversations with our kids. 

Remember we want to openly talk with our kids about what others believe. For an overview of how to guide conservations about other religions with your kids, check out this article I wrote. As we increase our understanding, we can better pray for others and cultivate the skills to run everything we see and hear around us through a biblical framework.

WHAT IS THE DAY OF THE DEAD?
The Day of the Dead is a celebration held in Mexico and Latin American countries from the evening of October 31November 2. The Day of the Dead is a time to happily remember family and friends who have died. People decorate an altar with skulls, flowers, and pictures of deceased loved ones. Sometimes the favorite food and drinks of the deceased loved ones are brought to their graves. Participants give friends small gifts such as candy sugar skulls and bake sweet bread.

DAY OF THE DEAD VIDEO
As a family, watch this short video (about 1.5 minutes!) produced by the PBS Kids show Let's Go Luna!

PRAYER PROMPTS
1) Pray for Mexican and Latin American families to know Jesus has power over all spirits.
2) Pray for 
Mexican and Latin American families to understand how Jesus has defeated death.
3) Ask God to give Christians in Mexico and Latin America strength to represent Christ well when they may need to abstain from celebrating this cultural holiday.

ACTIVITIES
1) Watch the movie Coco as a family. Discuss the differences between what Mexicans believe about death, spirits, and the afterlife with what the Bible teaches. Consider walking through how Paul interacted with those whose worldview wasn't biblical in 
Acts 17:22–34.

2) Make Champurrado, a traditional Mexican hot chocolate enjoyed during this holiday, and talk with your kids about what is good about the Day of the Dead (such as celebrating the life of loved ones who have passed away), what doesn't line up with Scripture, and then spend time praying for those who celebrate this holiday and don't know Jesus yet.

Champurrado recipe:
¼ cup corn flour
¼ cup + 2 tablespoons packed dark brown sugar
2 tablespoons cocoa powder
4 cups water
4 ounces bittersweet Mexican chocolate, grated
4 cinnamon sticks
1-2 star anise blooms

Simmer in a big pot until warm! Enjoy!

ADDITIONAL RESOURCES
1) Goodbye to Goodbyes: A True Story About Jesus, Lazarus, and an Empty Tomb: Through the Bible story of Lazarus, children learn how Jesus came to give life after death. (Ages 4 to 8)

2) How Should Christians Think About the Day of the Dead?: A Gospel Coalition article about the deeper implications of this Mexican and Latin American holiday.

Be sure to watch for more World Holidays Prayer Guides throughout the coming year!