“Just pray for God to heal me.” My mom’s words crackle across an international phone line in 2006.
I sit in a living room on the other side of the world.
Six months ago, my mom almost died from
an illness the doctors couldn’t pinpoint. But now after seeing a specialist, we
know it’s a rare disease. The physician’s prognosis isn’t great—five quality
years of life.
I nod my head. Words tangled together in my throat. I want
nothing more than my mom’s health to be restored. A tear trickles down my
cheek.
After finishing the phone call, the Holy Spirit whispers a
surprising word, “Don’t pray for healing. Pray for her to delight in Jesus more
than anything else.”
This instruction went against every fiber of my being.
And the prophet Jonah understood this dilemma all too well.
LEANING INTO THE UNEXPECTED
In the book of Jonah, God commanded the prophet Jonah to go
to the city of Ninevah and tell the people to repent. But instead of obeying,
Jonah high tailed it in the exact opposite direction and ended up in the belly
of a big fish.
Even inside the fish, Jonah didn’t repent. He praised God
for rescuing him, but refused to ask forgiveness for disobeying the Lord’s
command. The prayer of Jonah revealed his own sinful, selfish heart: God’s
mercy extended to him was acceptable, but not to wicked people like the
Ninevites.
The root issue for Jonah was failing to understand how great
God is and His incredible worth to be worshipped by all nations (Isa. 49:6).
God invited Jonah into glimpsing this beautiful truth, but he stubbornly
refused.
Jonah’s heart remained unchanged even after a big fish
swallowed him. If Jonah confessed his disobedience, then I think his sinful
belief that God’s mercy was only for the Israelites would’ve been uncovered and
dealt with.
But that’s not the story of Jonah recorded in Scripture.
And the same can be true for us as well. We can fail to
repent of sin revealed when we walk through difficulties and thereby miss the
reward God intended.
The inclination for the Lord to heal my mom wasn’t wrong, but
in this particular situation the path to best make God’s name great involved
praying a different prayer. Taking a path I didn’t like.
OBEDIENCE MATTERS
The opportunity to obey God and pray something else was an
invitation to taste and see Jesus in new ways—even if I was initially
skeptical.
The temptation to ignore (disobey!) this prompt was strong. At
the time, I’d just graduated from college and was single. My mom wanted to see
me get married and have kids. I wanted to support my mom in whatever ways
possible, especially as an ocean now separated us.
Praying a prayer that didn’t ask for her life to be extended
or to be healed from her illness flew against this good desire. Why would
the Lord ask me to do such a thing?
But this desire now stood in opposition to what the Lord had
asked me to pray. Doubt filled my heart. Did I care more about our lives
being comfortable than honoring the Lord?
Despite my uncertainty, I prayed for my mom to treasure
Jesus above all else. At first, it was difficult. But day-by-day, week-by-week,
month-by-month, the power and beauty of this prayer unfolded before my eyes.
My mom’s faith deepened. She no longer coveted healing above all else. Instead, she rooted her heart in the steadfast love of Christ.
Even 20 years later, the lesson God taught me through
praying a counterintuitive prayer in obedience remains etched in my heart: Nothing
else satisfies but Jesus.
Not health. Not my way.
Only Jesus.
REFLECTION QUESTIONS
- How has God’s path sometimes differed from your own?
- What does obedience look like in how the Lord’s leading you today?
Lord, we confess we’re often more like Jonah and think
somehow we know more than you do. Forgive us, Lord. Help us to follow you in obedience
each and every day, even when the path is uncomfortable and counterintuitive. May
we not miss a chance to grow in our faith and watch you work in beautiful ways.
Remind us again and again that only Jesus can satisfy our hearts. Amen.
