A couple years ago, I was struggling to find something new my
seven-year-old and I could enjoy together. What had worked in the past just
wasn’t landing the same anymore. My son was changing and I wanted to pivot as
he grew.
After reading Adventuring Together: How to Create Connections and Make Lasting Memories with Your Kids, an idea began brewing in my mind. I wanted to find an activity we could learn together—something that neither one of us knew well, but that we could potentially enjoy doing together. And that’s when I recalled my own childhood of fishing for rainbow trout at the lake with my dad and brother. But the catch: I didn’t actually know much of anything about fishing. I had never even stuck a worm on my hook, much less understood which bait to use for various fishes.
When I pitched the idea to my seven-year-old his blue eyes glistened.
“We could check out a book from the library so we can learn some fishing basics first,” I suggested.
“Yeah, that sounds good,” my son quickly responded.
I found a fishing book for kids and after my youngest son was in bed each evening, my seven-year-old and I would read a chapter. We practiced tying fishing knots and gained a baseline for what we needed to attempt fishing together. My eldest was eager for this focused time together, and so was I. It felt like a stepping stone across the creek to connecting with him.
When spring finally came, we decided it was time to put our knowledge to the test. I was nervous so we opted to go fishing with my dad for our inaugural trial fishing trip—sort of like riding a bike with training wheels. That proved to be the confidence boost we both needed. After an hour, my dad left us to manage on our own.
And that’s when the fun really began. The fish were biting and we were just slow on the timing to reel the line in. When we ran out of worms neither one of us wanted to stop so we dug with sticks in the wet earth to find another worm.
“I found one!” my son called to me. His nose crinkled as the worm wriggled on his stick. Just like me, he wasn’t a fan of dealing with worms.
I took a deep breath. I really didn’t like hooking worms, but I knew it was par for the fishing course. My face contorted as I got the worm onto the hook. Then I exhaled, stepped a good six feet away, and nodded for my son to cast the line.
We didn’t catch a single fish that day, but we lost track of time trying to catch elusive fish and digging for one more worm. And that bonding time was worth every single squirming worm I had to hook.
CONNECTING WITH OUR KIDS
Years later, I'm still working to keep connecting with my boys in new ways together. And enjoying the journey together! I find doing something new for both of us is the most fun because we're beginners together. But really, anything that feels a bit like an adventure will work! We may do several things or find one thing that sticks for a long time! Remember the goal is bonding!
Years later, I'm still working to keep connecting with my boys in new ways together. And enjoying the journey together! I find doing something new for both of us is the most fun because we're beginners together. But really, anything that feels a bit like an adventure will work! We may do several things or find one thing that sticks for a long time! Remember the goal is bonding!
How can you find a new way to connect with your child? What childhood memories spring to mind that could serve as a point of connection? Or what's something new you both are interested in learning?
As you mull over these questions to find your own ideas, here are five ideas to connect with our kids.
1) Learn how to navigate by reading through How to Go Anywhere (And Not Get Lost). This interactive book will channel the inner explorer in you and your child through various ways to navigate outdoors and develop skills like: using trees to locate north and south, making a compass, knowing what time it is using stars, using the sun to figure out where you are, and other useful skills!
2) Grab some binoculars and a local bird-watching book, then head outside to discover birds in your neighborhood.
3) Dive into the world of baking! You can subscribe to a kid baking kit service (like Baketivity which sends a recipe with most of the ingredients to your doorstep) or try out recipes that sound fun or fit the season!
4) Swing by a craft shop and learn how to sew! Whether it's using a kids sewing machine or picking out a weaving loom! Learning together will be an adventure!
5) Gleaning from Adventures in Cartooning, create a comic series together!
Whatever you do together, may it be an adventure that deepens your bond!